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Elon Musk posts hilarious response to hypothetical Tesla van launch ‘that will fit all his kids’

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Elon Musk has posted a hilarious response to a Babylon Bee article that announced a hypothetical Tesla van launch “that will fit all his kids.”

The Tesla CEO recently welcomed his 13th child into the world, proving that he is doing all he can to personally combat his fear of population collapse.

The birth of his most recent child has become a bit of a spectacle. However, many are joking that Tesla is going to launch a van, like satirical news outlet Babylon Bee’s hypothetical unveiling of the Model H, a Homeschooler van “that will fit all his kids.”

But Musk had a hilarious response to the story, posted by the Bee on X, and it involved one of Tesla’s most recently unveiled products: the Robovan.

Musk’s response went like this:

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The Robovan was unveiled as a surprise at Tesla’s Robotaxi Event, titled “We, Robot” on October 10 last year. The Robovan is a 20-person, fully autonomous vehicle that Musk said will enable anything from hauling around a team of Little Leaguers to being used as a cargo van that will drop goods off in a large city.

It seems it can also be suitable for those who have a lot of kids.

Musk said about the Robovan at the event:

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“It would be very good for goods transport in a city, or transport of up to 20 people at a time. It’s going to solve for high density, so if you’re looking to take a sports team somewhere or really get the cost of transportation down to $0.05 or $0.10 cents per mile, then you could use the Robovan.”

The vehicle was inspired by 1930s-era Art Deco trains, Musk confirmed just after the event.

Although Tesla has not officially landed on the name “Robovan,” as it has also filed trademark applications for the phrase “Cyberbus,” the vehicle is still very much in the plans for the company.

Tesla appears to be deciding between names for ‘Robovan’

As it is working on solving autonomous passenger ride-hailing with the Cybercab, the Robovan or Cyberbus will be a suitable option for those larger groups, enabling sustainable and efficient transportation for those who travel in packs or those who need the cargo space to haul goods.

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Please email me with questions and comments at joey@teslarati.com. I’d love to chat! You can also reach me on Twitter @KlenderJoey, or if you have news tips, you can email us at tips@teslarati.com.

Joey has been a journalist covering electric mobility at TESLARATI since August 2019. In his spare time, Joey is playing golf, watching MMA, or cheering on any of his favorite sports teams, including the Baltimore Ravens and Orioles, Miami Heat, Washington Capitals, and Penn State Nittany Lions. You can get in touch with joey at joey@teslarati.com. He is also on X @KlenderJoey. If you're looking for great Tesla accessories, check out shop.teslarati.com

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Elon Musk

Tesla says texting and driving capability is coming ‘in a month or two’

“In the next month or two, we’re going to look at the safety statistics, but we’re going to allow you to text and drive, essentially.”

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Credit: Tesla

Tesla CEO Elon Musk said that within the next month or two, the company will be able to open the ability for people to text and drive because its Full Self-Driving suite will be robust enough to allow drivers to take their attention away from the road.

In its current state, Tesla Full Self-Driving is a supervised driver assistance suite that requires the vehicle operator to maintain control of the vehicle and pay attention to the road surroundings.

However, the company has been aiming to release a fully autonomous version of the Full Self-Driving suite for years, teasing its future potential and aiming to release a Level 5 suite as soon as possible.

CEO Elon Musk believes the company is on the cusp of something drastic, according to what he said at yesterday’s Annual Shareholder Meeting.

One thing Musk hinted at was that the company should be able to allow those sitting in the driver’s seat of their cars to text and drive “in the next month or two,” as long as the statistics look good.

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He said:

“In the next month or two, we’re going to look at the safety statistics, but we’re going to allow you to text and drive, essentially.”

The company recently transitioned to its v14 Full Self-Driving suite, which is its most robust to date, and recently expanded to Cybertruck, completing its rollout across the vehicle lineup.

Currently, Tesla is running v14.1.5, and when major improvements are made, that second number will increase, meaning v14.2 will be the next substantial improvement.

Musk said that v14.3 will be when you can “pretty much fall asleep and wake up at your destination.”

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We’ve heard a considerable amount of similar statements in the past, and Tesla owners have been conditioned to take some of these timeframes with autonomous driving with a grain of salt.

However, with the upgrades in FSD over the past few months, especially with the rollout of Robotaxi in Austin, which does not utilize anyone in the driver’s seat for local roads, it does not seem as if autonomy is that far off for Tesla.

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Elon Musk

Tesla Optimus’ pilot line will already have an incredible annual output

And this would just be the beginning. In the future, Musk mused that Optimus’ production could literally be out of this world.

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(Credit: Tesla)

During the 2025 Tesla Annual Shareholder Meeting, Elon Musk provided a teaser of the company’s targets for Optimus’s annual production. As per the CEO, Optimus’ pilot line will be capable of producing up to one million units annually. 

And this would just be the beginning. In the future, Musk mused that Optimus’ production could literally be out of this world.

Musk targets world’s fastest production ramp for Optimus robots

Tesla’s first Optimus line will be built in Fremont, California, and is projected to produce around one million robots per year. Other facilities like Gigafactory Texas could scale Optimus production to 10 million units annually. Musk even joked that a 100-million-unit line might one day be built “on Mars.” With Optimus, Musk stated that Tesla is looking to achieve a historic production ramp. 

“So we’re going to launch on the fastest production ramp of any product of any large complex manufactured product ever, starting with building a one million unit production line in Fremont. And that’s Line One. And then a 10-million-unit-per-year production line here (at Giga Texas). I don’t know where we’re going to put the one hundred million unit production line, maybe on Mars. But I think it’s going to literally get to one hundred million a year, maybe even a billion a year,” Musk said.

Optimus and sustainable abundance

Tesla’s Master Plan Part IV is all about sustainable abundance, and Musk highlighted that the humanoid robot will play a huge role in his vision for the future. He noted that Optimus’ mass production could redefine economic and social systems worldwide and open up premium services for everyone across the globe. 

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“People often talk about eliminating poverty or giving everyone amazing medical care. There’s only one way to do that, and that’s with the Optimus robot,” Musk said. “With humanoid robots, you can actually give everyone amazing medical care. In terms of Optimus will be more precise. Optimus will ultimately be better than the best human surgeon with a level of precision that is beyond human… People always talked about eliminating poverty, but actually, Optimus will actually eliminate poverty,” Musk said.

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Elon Musk

Tesla schedules Roadster unveiling event, and you won’t believe when it is

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Tesla has tentatively scheduled its unveiling event for the Roadster’s next-generation iteration, and you will not believe the date the company picked for it.

Tesla CEO Elon Musk said during the 2025 Annual Shareholders Meeting that the company is aiming for an April 1 demo event.

Yes, April Fools’ Day.

Tesla originally aimed for its “most epic demo” to take place at the end of this year. However, the writing on the wall as 2025 winds down seemed to indicate the company was not quite ready to show off everything it plans to implement into the Roadster.

Its capabilities have been teased quite heavily throughout most of the year, but the biggest hints came last week when Musk appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast.

He said:

“Whether it’s good or bad, it will be unforgettable. My friend Peter Thiel once reflected that the future was supposed to have flying cars, but we don’t have flying cars. I think if Peter wants a flying car, he should be able to buy one…I think it has a shot at being the most memorable product unveil ever. [It will be unveiled] hopefully before the end of the year. You know, we need to make sure that it works. This is some crazy technology in this car. Let’s just put it this way: if you took all the James Bond cars and combined them, it’s crazier than that.”

The Roadster has been somewhat of a letdown, at least in its newest version, thus far. Tesla has routinely delayed the project, putting those who put lofty down payments on the car in a weird limbo, lost at what to do.

One notable pre-orderer cancelled his reservation last week and got in a spat with Musk about it.

Now that there is a definitive date for the Roadster unveiling, Musk and Co. should have a more definitive cutoff date for features and capabilities. Chief Designer Franz von Holzhausen said earlier this year that when they showed Musk what they had done with the Roadster, the CEO encouraged them to do even more with it.

This delayed things further.

Musk also said he believes production would begin between 12 and 18 months after the unveiling, putting it out sometime in 2027.

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